Tell Me
by FrozenCrimsonCroissant
Summary: Tell me what happened to us. Give some answers that I can hold on to before I set you free. (I know I had posted this as completed but there is a second chapter for you in Natsume's POV)
1. Tell Me (Mikan)

**Tell Me**

Gone were the days that we cuddled in bed on a cold winter morning. We were perfect, you and I. Why must that end? Our friends tried so hard to keep us together even though they knew that our love was forbidden. When my family and yours finally permitted such love, why did you have to leave then?

Our engagement was announced to the world, that our families and their companies would declare a merger. What once were rival companies now one. After that, I had thought that we would have more time with each other. Instead you were cooped up in work and had little time for me, but you had never forgotten to call every now and then.

Months after was our wedding. It was perfect. Just like a picture out of a book. Everyone had labelled it the wedding of the year. You had wanted my dress to be your favourite color but our peers said that it should not be, but the flower bouquet I carry would be which is hued by that color. You stood by the altar dressed in a white suit. You were wearing a mask of nonchalance but your eyes showed the love and affection you held for me.

Where had those gentle looks gone? Where had the mirth that the eyes shone gone? Why have you done this to me? For three years, we've lived a happy marriage. But for a month you suddenly started going cold. I did not mind so, I thought it was just because you were tired and stressed from work. Every time I tried to welcome you back home with soothing words, you brush me away.

Before you would always visit me in my studio and look at the paintings I have created. Right now, do you know what I had recently made? Have you felt the emotions bottled up inside them? Have you felt the texture of the paint and the strokes I made? Can you feel their roughness or their uneven marks? Are you aware that those are the result of me crying while making them? I accidentally soak my canvas with my tears and try to patch them up as if nothing happened, just like what I usually do when I am hurting because of you.

Actually I went to the doctor to have a check up on why I have been recently having dizziness and pain in the chest. I got my results the day after the next and you know what? I actually have an illness. And the doctor was kind enough to tell me that it can be cured by surgery. I did not want to be a burden so I did not say anything about it to anyone and I asked the doctor not to tell anyone especially **her** brother since he was a known doctor. If **she** would know, I think she might kill you for your negligence.

While I was walking home, I stopped by our favourite cafe and had a donut and a cold latte. In the midst of my meal I glanced outside and saw you with another woman. She was pretty, with a body of a model. She had beautiful strawberry blonde hair. You were still in your suit and she was not dressed in any formal attire, so I guess she was no business investor. You were eating happily, chatting and laughing. What I was most surprised of was that you wore a smile that shone brighter than the stars. Your face filled with indifference when you are with me is filled with joy around her. I could not take it anymore seeing you with that woman, i had seen you many times before but it hurts me even so. I paid my bill and left for home. Before I could enter our house – or rather – mansion Hotaru's lavender Porsche came into view. She was visiting. I parked my car and entered the house. Our maid welcomed me and said Hotaru was in my art room. I panicked, Hotaru can't see that.

I rushed upstairs to my art room and there she was in the middle of it all. When she heard my footsteps she turned and her expression devastated me. She was crying. I knew it. She would immediately know. She rushed to me and hugged me. She asked questions and I answered her honestly, I can't lie to Hotaru after all. After I told her, she was furious. She was ready to kill you but I stopped her. She threw a fit about how much of a jerk you are and how you have dared to hurt me with her still living.

While I was stopping her, my chest jolted in pain. I crouched to the ground and Hotaru caught me before I could land on the ground. It was good timing that Ruka came to visit. He witnessed it and he brought me to the hospital along with Hotaru. I fell unconscious in the process and they talked with the doctor. He told them about my condition. Both of them wanted me to take the surgery but I did not want to. I would continue hurting if I continued living. I opposed to the operation and I made them promise not to tell you.

Starting at that point they became more overprotective and the pain I carried increased. For two years more, I endured the pain. One day you suddenly had a business trip to Europe but if I had known better, you would just have another of your dates. So I said nothing, you would be gone for a month or two. In fact, I had a few attacks before when you were still here but you didn't care. You just told me to rest and I did. But once the door to my room closes I would crouch in pain and muffle the sobs and silent screams I made.

I asked Hotaru to come over, I think she knows about your affair. But she may be keeping silent so as not to hasten my illness. After all, I am not supposed to feel and extreme surge of emotion or I might get an attack. I told the servants to open the door for Hotaru and that I would be in my room, though I knew that Hotaru would arrive even before I reach my room. I started through the staircase, as I reached the top, her engine was heard from the outside and she came barging in. I smiled weakly at her from the top. She insulted me about being pale and she smiled at me too. I couldn't hold the pain anymore, I fainted and I still remember the feeling of falling down the staircase.

I woke up in the hospital two days after, I was relieved that they did not tell you yet but I received bad and at the same time good news. I had this month left to live and funny how my deadline is the day that you would possibly arrive back from that business affair. My family and yours were made aware of our hidden relationship and they had pleaded for me to fight my illness and live. You father even wanted to disown you for what you have done and my father wanted to murder you. I told them not to. If I would have a month left to live, I would want to write letter of my feelings to you and paint what is left of my emotions. They allowed me to and that is what I have been doing for the past month up to now.

You would be arriving tomorrow. You sure took your time. I wish you could tell me the replies to these questions I have for you in my letters and arts, that you could tell me why you did such an act. Right now, here I am struggling to write these last few words while lying on my death bed. My chest has been hurting nonstop and I can feel my deadline coming. I slowly put down my pen and try to sleep for the last time. I wish you could tell me everything. Tell me the answers of my 'why's'. Before I closed my eyes, I saw you, walking in with our whole family and close friends at your back, while looking worried. I can't believe it, you are showing care for me in my last breath. You held my hand and whispered to me to not close my eyes. To not let go, I reached out my other hand to touch you face and I smiled weakly at you.

You shed a tear when I finally drew my last breath while saying these words.

" _ **You're free, my love."**_


	2. If Only (Natsume)

**If Only**

You were my sweet, the love of my life. You were the light that brought me out of my dark cave. We had been in a lot of troubles during our time as just lovers. Our industries were supposed to be rivals but because of us, it was united and our fathers even became the best of friends. But due to this merge, I had to work double because I was managing two companies then. My time with you became scarce but we held on. I made time for you even trying to call you a minute before a meeting. That was how much I loved you.

How could I have changed? I realized my change started after my business trip to China. I met with a blonde European woman there. Even after my business meetings, she met with me. I don't know what was with her, didn't she know that I was a married man. Not to brag our wedding was out worldwide after all. What am I saying? I shouldn't be blaming her, I am the one at fault. I succumbed to her charms. When time passed, my cheating had grown worse. I started making my business trips as an excuse to meet her. She comes to Japan every now and then and we would have dates that I would schedule as business meals so my secretary does not disclose suspicious information.

Surprisingly, I was able to avoid the prying of your best friend, she is a force to reckon with when it comes to investigations. Or maybe she just had me investigated but she never told you. Once, you even visited my office but I was out with my woman. I answered my secretary's call with urgency. I did not know I had such good acting skills. I had actually made you all believe I was with a fellow businessman. My mistress became my girlfriend, whenever I was with her I would take off my ring, so she did not know that I was a married man. Luckily, this woman was dumb enough to not watch the news or read magazines. You were after all like me, a famous icon. I would even laugh at the media's words about how we were the perfect couple. Little do they know that in truth I was an unfaithful and a cold hearted husband that did not care for his wife.

For days, I noticed Ruka and Hotaru always calling you and visiting. How do I know? I hear the maids talking about it after all. I had this meeting coming up out of the country and me and my mistress's anniversary was also due on one of those days that I would be gone. I planned for a vacation for the two of us. And while I was ecstatically preparing for the anniversary, you were experiencing pain. I had actually noticed you going pale by the day. But I just brushed it off saying that it could have been due to you always painting and you lacking sleep. I told you to get some rest, as if showing care when I didn't. For this trip, I would be gone for a month.

I spent so many days there on dates with my mistress. I was blind to her charms. I did not know what she was doing when my back was turned. I learned the hard way when I saw her with a man while I was out on a lunch meeting with my business partners. We were in the middle of a business talk when she and that man entered the restaurant. She was wearing a ring on her finger and so did the man holding her hand. So the bitch was married and I was dumb enough not to know that. Well, to make matters worse, I realized that I was cheating and neglecting my wife who needed me but this woman still had dates with her husband when I could not even check on you sleeping when I came home late at night.

I excused myself from my business partners, stood and went to their table. The look on her face was priceless. I eyed her hand with the ring that was on the table, so did she. When a waiter came to give them their wine, I took it and specifically positioned my hand where she would see my wedding ring. She eyed my hand and her horrified face was a sight to behold. I opened the wine and poured it on her. Her husband was fuming but he was furious after I told him how much of a bitch his wife was and how she was cheating on him with me. I turned my back on them and never took a glance again. I smirked, I never felt so light in my life.

I would be returning the day after tomorrow. I had to get home and apologize to you. I had to spend dates with you to make it up to you. I would tell you everything, no more secrets. That was how we were, right? Even if I had to leave work for a month, for you, I would do it. I looked out the city through my penthouse. I was woken from my reverie when my phone rang. It shocked me to see that the caller ID was my best friend. I picked up, I had a plan and I wanted him to help me out. But his message made me stone cold. It can't be true, right? Just when I decided to change my life, I dropped the call and phoned my secretary. I ordered her to get me a flight this night. I had to catch up to you.

What they way is really true, that a person only sees what's important when it leaves them. I packed my belongings which are not much since I asked my secretary to bring the rest of it and rushed to the airport. Once seated on the plane, I could not sit still, what if I can't make it. I shrugged off those feelings. I have to make it. I had to see you, with your eyes still open. I had to tell you how much I love you. I did not sleep the whole flight which was a bad thing. When the plane landed I rushed outside not caring for the people I bumped into. I rushed out of the airport and I found a familiar vehicle. Ruka was there to pick me up. I approached his car. The door burst open even before I could reach a meter and out came a fuming while …crying…? Imai. She slapped me hard while shouting profanities at me because her best friend was dying. She said something about you not taking the surgery when you actually had a chance. She told me you did not want to be a burden and all this time, you actually knew that I was cheating on you. Ruka held her down and he was the one who told us to hurry or we won't make it.

Ruka drove fast but not past the speed limit. We reached the hospital and when we were outside your room, our parents and family were there. My dad and yours saw me and the look in their eyes were a mix of disappointment and anger. Your dad came first and even at his old age he was able to give me a punch but he gave only one, he said it would hurt you if he did more. My dad came next and smiled disappointingly at me then knocked my head. They told me to hurry. Our moms were busy crying and comforting each other to even bother slapping or doing whatever to me. I know my current appearance could be disheveled, well I think that is an understatement. When I slammed open the door, you looked at my way and gave me distant and sad smile. You were so pale and fragile.

I held your hand and told you to hold on, to stay with me. I was about to tell you I love you when you reached out your hand to touch my face. You smiled sadly and said _**"You're free, my love."**_ Then you dropped your hand and breathed your last. I screamed in despair as I hugged your dead figure. You were ice cold. You were dead and I could not take it, I fainted.

When I came to, I was wearing a black suit, how did I come to wear this? I realized I was at your burial already. How dead was I? I guess my heart died the moment you did. Even after you were put six feet under the ground and covered, I stayed behind. I was even drenched in the rain.

If only I did not cheat on you. I walked home pondering about the 'If only's' I had. If only I focused my eyes on you. I could have seen your pain. If only…

I stood in front of our house and when I entered I saw Imai with Ruka. She told me to follow her and I did. I know the way she was going. She was going to your studio. She opened the door and told me to look at everything that was in this room. It was filled of paintings of me. There is even a picture on the two of us. But as I got deeper into the paintings, they were now filled with sadness and hurt. You painted me and my mistress when we were at a café. You painted abstracts that mirrored your pain.

There was this section that hit me the most. You painted a picture of a child. But who is that? I stared at it and Imai was the one who answered my confusion. The kid's name was Youichi Hijiri, you had wanted to adopt this orphan boy but you could never find the time to ask me, that was why you were not able to. I immediately asked Imai about the details on this kid and drove to his orphanage. I managed the papers for his adoption. When I got the kid, he was confused but he was a smart boy. He asked my relationship to you and where you were. I replied that I was your husband and I was going to be his father. I did not say anything about you but instead I drove to the cemetery. We approached your grave, he was indifferent but his eyes glimmered in tears.

I told him that you wished to adopt him but couldn't. So now, I would be taking your place. I faced your grave as I said my promise.

" _ **You meant to leave your painting of this boy as a message, right? Then to repent for my wrong against you, let this be my punishment. I will care for and love this boy as my own in your stead. I can never be free now that I had actually hurt the woman who cared for and loved the imperfect me."**_

I looked at your gravestone, engraved on it:

 _Mikan Hyuuga_

 _A wife, a friend, a daughter:_

 _Born: 0X/0X/X0X0_

 _Died: 0X/0X/X0X0_

" _ **I am sorry and I love you with all my heart, my wife."**_

* * *

 ** _Hi i was actually planning to make this as a different oneshot but then you won't notice it immediately so i am posting it as a chapter._**

 ** _to all the reviewers, thank you very much._**

 ** _Anilissa - Thanks for your review, I appreciate it very much. Your awaited sequel here on duty. just joking. what do you think?_**

 ** _Lexi1989 - If chapter one was heartbreaking, how about this? haha I'm evil. Nah. Thanks so much by the way._**

 ** _Amazing - Here is Natsume's side, madam. Hahah. thanks for the review._**

 ** _FA - Yeah. I cry with you. thanks for reviewing._**

 ** _\- Almost only? how come? what can i do to make you cry? hahah. thanks for your review._**

 ** _deviedra - Why do you cry every time? Did I understand your review properly? thanks anyway._**

 ** _Katherine Kalissa Amara - Thank you so much for offering by the way. And your reply in the PM confused me if you were angry or not hahaha. Anyway, here it is._**

 ** _Actually, I was not thinking of making a sequel or another chapter but even I thought justice should be done. Both sides should be known, Right?_**

 ** _Ja minna~ until the next time._**


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